Friday, November 22, 2013

where have I been & giving thanks

Where have I been?
It seems like forever since I have posted here. Well, let me tell almost 2 1/2 year old and a fourteen month old sure can keep you busy. I have been busy keeping up with our home, caring for my little ones, and learning to trust and rely on the Lord no matter what life throws my way. Some days are harder than others. I struggle. I want to do more. I want to create. I want to blog. I want to photograph. I want more "me time."

And then I hear it..."I want" "I want" "I want". 

But God has been revealing to me just how precious this time is in my children's lives. And that I need simply to be. Be still. Relax. Enjoy these moments. Lean on and trust in him for his timing.

All of that does not come easily to me.

I know there will always be another time for creating, blogging, photographing, decorating, doing things that I once loved. But it always seems we want what we can't have. "I want it now!," my flesh screams out. When the baby won't nap. When the kids are fussy. When it's time to make dinner (for the hundredth million time). When the laundry is piled up to the ceiling. When the dog has peed on the floor again. When there is another diaper to change. And on and on.

But I hear that still small voice...whispering to look around at all that I have. A cozy home (that I often complain of being too small...and yet I don't have time to clean it?). Maybe God knows exactly how big my home should be. And I need just see the beauty in it. Right here. Right now. Unfinished. Undecorated (to my perfectionistic standards). Untidy. BUT...lived in. Where lots and lots of love dwells. Where tiny fingerprints cover every surface. Tiny fingerprints that will only be little for so long.

I also have an amazing husband. A man who stands by me through everything. All of my ups and downs. Who is the most amazing father, I could ever have imagined for my children. A man who has so much that alone I should be able to rest and have peace. A man who seeks God in everything and is so selfless he literally exemplifies Christ daily in our home.

I have two of the most adorable children on the face of the earth (biased? maybe but still. they are seriously the cutest little people I have ever known). They make me laugh and cry happy tears constantly. I learn from them every day. And I feel loved in their tiny hugs and kisses...and words of wisdom from tiny voices..."Be okay Mommy. Be okay," Hazel tells me when I feel weary.

I am so richly blessed. If only I could see it. If only I could keep that in my heart when I go on Pinterest again and again and again. When I look at another lovely home filled with things that "I will never have" or that surely must always be spotless. If only I could always remember God's words that he will sustain me and that he has given me more than enough.

This is my prayer...
"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." Philippians 4:11-12

So this Thanksgiving I will give thanks. For all that I have. And it is so much. So, very, very much.

What are you thankful for today?

Till next time...
~Alice W.