"Some day these will be our old days, let's make them worth remembering." -Kacy Crowley
When my husband leaves at 6 and has class after work and doesn't return till 9:30 at night. When the kids fight or get upset because they got the "wrong" color bowl for breakfast. When they both want to be first (at everything) and be the one to pick which TV show to watch. When they can't play nice no matter what. When there are so many diapers to change and laundry left undone. Dishes overflowing and no one but me to do them. When you just want a moment's peace to breath in and out and not feel the struggle. Yeah, those can be the longest days.
But I wonder...
Could they also be sun-filled days?
I am learning...only if I let them.
And so can you.
Not only can we endure...but we can thrive. Right here where we are. In a too small house. Or a mansion. With tons of outside help or only God's grace to hold onto. In this life. The one God has given us right now.
Some days I forget. Or just don't care to let the sun in. It can be easier to let the gloom set in than push it away sometimes. To feel helpless...even hopeless that it will get better and brighter and just plain more fun.
I've been learning about motives (thank you Joyce Meyer) and that if I am not careful with my motives for why I do things...they may not be blessed. Be rewarded. Make my actions result in anything good.
So many times I know that if I searched my heart honestly, the only motive I would find would be selfishness. It's all about me. What I want. What thanks I am not getting. What gratitude I am not being shown. A mentality that I am just here to work for these people and exist. That I am small. Invisible.
But this is the last thing from the truth.
If we are not actively asking the Lord to enter our days and be with us here and help us from moment to moment with his grace...that is the tragedy we can start to believe.
Sad really, because I know I miss out on greatness those days. Not just amazing rewards later on in heaven from God himself, but little moments of rewards here right now.
Sweet moments with my little man Owen watching him discover the world. When he digs in the dirt and shows me the rocks that he has found. When he wants me to be Mater to his Lightning McQueen. Where I am truly the sun in his eyes. Do I shine for him? Or do I withdraw and dim that light that should be beaming for him.
But if I don't, if I keep selfish motives in my heart, I miss out.
Simple as that.
It's a learning process and thankfully I know as loving moms we succeed a lot more often than we give ourselves credit for. And even when we feel like we failed, we can still reach out and grab some sun and ask for forgiveness (if need be) and be met with grace.
Don't you love those times when you know that you have given yourself the freedom to fully soak in and enjoy this moment right here, right now? We need to do it more. Give ourselves that freedom. You hear it all the time, "Enjoy these moments now while they are young. It goes by so fast."
Till next time...
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