Friday, June 26, 2015

Summer Days. Sun Filled Days. The Longest Days.

"Some day these will be our old days, let's make them worth remembering." -Kacy Crowley
Summer is flying by. I kind of hate that. Some days are long, though. Not only does the sun stay out longer and make the daylight hours last, some days as a mother with little ones can feel like an eternity. If you are in a similar situation, you probably now what I mean. This post is for you...

When my husband leaves at 6 and has class after work and doesn't return till 9:30 at night. When the kids fight or get upset because they got the "wrong" color bowl for breakfast. When they both want to be first (at everything) and be the one to pick which TV show to watch. When they can't play nice no matter what. When there are so many diapers to change and laundry left undone. Dishes overflowing and no one but me to do them. When you just want a moment's peace to breath in and out and not feel the struggle. Yeah, those can be the longest days. 

But I wonder...

Could they also be sun-filled days? 

I am learning...only if I let them.
I am learning I need to let the sun and the light and the goodness into my days. To embrace these days with God's spirit all around me and his Son in my heart. To know that through him, I can do anything.

And so can you.

Not only can we endure...but we can thrive. Right here where we are. In a too small house. Or a mansion. With tons of outside help or only God's grace to hold onto. In this life. The one God has given us right now.


Some days I forget. Or just don't care to let the sun in. It can be easier to let the gloom set in than push it away sometimes. To feel helpless...even hopeless that it will get better and brighter and just plain more fun.

I've been learning about motives (thank you Joyce Meyer) and that if I am not careful with my motives for why I do things...they may not be blessed. Be rewarded. Make my actions result in anything good.

So many times I know that if I searched my heart honestly, the only motive I would find would be selfishness. It's all about me. What I want. What thanks I am not getting. What gratitude I am not being shown. A mentality that I am just here to work for these people and exist. That I am small. Invisible.

But this is the last thing from the truth.

If we are not actively asking the Lord to enter our days and be with us here and help us from moment to moment with his grace...that is the tragedy we can start to believe.

Sad really, because I know I miss out on greatness those days. Not just amazing rewards later on in heaven from God himself, but little moments of rewards here right now.

Sweet moments with my little man Owen watching him discover the world. When he digs in the dirt and shows me the rocks that he has found. When he wants me to be Mater to his Lightning McQueen. Where I am truly the sun in his eyes. Do I shine for him? Or do I withdraw and dim that light that should be beaming for him.
Or  precious times with my girl Hazel who is growing so fast. When she "bakes" for me in her kitchen and sets her little table just so. When she gives me the pink fork and the cup with "coffee" because she knows what I like. When she wants me to get down low and play Barbies and change the outfits and the shoes a zillion times. Do I get lost in that or have other things to do? Do I give her my eyes? My attention? My heart? Every time is a test. Every chance a moment to embrace a gift...or let it go.
If I am letting the sun shine into my heart (the goodness, pure motives, God's grace), I do it. I soak in those rewards and blessings and my cup runneth over.

But if I don't, if I keep selfish motives in my heart, I miss out.

Simple as that.
Now, don't get me wrong. There are some days where I bend over backwards to be as patient, loving and fun as I can be and they still throw fits and fight and get my drift. That can be draining in and of itself. I know those are the days I need to press in the most....if only I will. Seek him in those moments when I am about to lose my mind and wish to run do my own thing and have some quiet peace.

It's a learning process and thankfully I know as loving moms we succeed a lot more often than we give ourselves credit for. And even when we feel like we failed, we can still reach out and grab some sun and ask for forgiveness (if need be) and be met with grace.
Tonight as my kids took their bath in our old claw foot tub, they played together so sweetly, I found myself resting against the side of the tub in awe of these two creatures. These two beautiful people who I have the pleasure of spending my every day with.

Don't you love those times when you know that you have given yourself the freedom to fully soak in and enjoy this moment right here, right now? We need to do it more. Give ourselves that freedom. You hear it all the time, "Enjoy these moments now while they are young. It goes by so fast."
On those longest days it's easy to forget that. Which is why the days when the sun shines through and shows me the gifts, all the gifts from the smiles and the kisses to the piles of laundry and the dirty faces, it is all the more special and real. These will be our "old days" and I truly do want them to be worth remembering. Not surviving. Not getting by. Days worthy of my children's memory even if it will only remain somewhere deep in their hearts. The knowing. The knowing that they are worth it. Worth our everything. Our all. Even and especially on those longest days.

Till next time...
~Alice W.
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